Learning Patience

Today I missed my train. But to leave it at that is to allow you to assume I was late. It is true that I left my house a minute or two later than usual. On my trip there, the back road I take to avoid a busy intersection ended up being blocked off due to a tree that fell during last week's storm and has yet to be removed. This was something I only realized after turning down this street and rounding a bend. After backtracking and continuing to the station I parked with 7 minutes to spare. I walked to the parking meter, paid my 4 quarters and headed into the station to buy my weekly pass.

It is the change of month as well as it being Monday. As such, there are many people who need to do the same thing as I do. Finally, there is one person between me and the cashier and the train pulls in. Luckily there are a lot of people who take the train at this time and so I have that as my time buffer. What is working against me, however, is the woman in front of me who is reading out her request as if she is at the drive-thru window of a fast food restaurant:

"Yes I am going to need a weekly pass. I also need, um, well, make it 10 tokens. Then..."

I finally get to the cashier, hastily say "I need a weekly" and hand him my card. As is typicaly with me, I had no cash and was unable to just bite the bullet on paying extra by getting the ticket on the train. I was forced to pay at the window, and by card. I finally get the receipt, sign it, get my pass and my card and head out the door.

"Chhhhhh"

The train released. It had yet to move and I flashed to old movies where people would jump onto a train already in motion. It's a pretty slick and cool maneuver and it was my turn to try it out.

"The train is in motion! Step back!"

A platform security worker was briskly walking towards me, ending all dreams of hoping on to the train. My train. It was in front of me, still stationary. The next one would not come for 40 minutes. And yet, I was unable to do anything. Instead of bucking the system, leaping onto the train, and making it to work when I had hoped, I moved away, retreated to a bench, and waited for 45 minutes. I kept pacing in my head, debating if I should just get in the car and drive to work. I was so annoyed at how close I had been, and how little had separated me from being where I needed to be. Ultimately, I came to the conclusion that none of that mattered. I did not make it, I already bought my pass and I needed to relax. I would get to work eventually. Nothing needed to be done right away, and no one needed me to be there immediately.

Sometimes we get so hung up on our timelines and dead lines, even if there is no consequence to them, that we get all worked up. To balance this unnecessary stress, I slowed my walk to work, stopped for breakfast, and just took a second to appreciate some things. We are too easily upset and too easily convinced that if things change and do not go according to the mental plan we had, that the world might end. Freeing yourself of that is one of the most important things you can do.