Fresh Air

That term seems to refer to something I have not felt in weeks. This summer is really starting to wear on me. I don't care for summer as far as weather conditions go. I am a fall/spring person. I don't like the cold nor the heat. I really enjoy cool, light jacket weather. Weather where everything is calm. Too cold leaves you paralyzed and too hot leaves you exhausted and on edge.

One of the best things, though, about the summer is a fresh house. Over the winter, due to the cold, you leave your windows locked up tight. Something that I really enjoy is when it is finally nice enough out to have the windows open. Waking up in the morning, relaxing at night, lounging on the weekend - these moments are all enhanced a little when there is a natural air flow running through your home. Air literally gets to be stale, otherwise, and it has a different weight to it in a way.

This summer has been unbearable. I was out shopping the other day and saw some nice looking clothes for the fall that have started to fill the racks. I could not even fathom buying or trying anything on that was for cooler weather, however. Just the idea of wearing that stuff made me hot. It has been brutal for weeks straight. Today it reached a "feels like" of 108 here. I walked outside and laughed. It's about all I can do. The extreme heat that just has not let up has become so preposterous that my reaction is simply laughter. I am just baffled that with the sun setting its still in the 90 degree range.

I have had mixed feelings about the approaching month of September in the past. Some years it was dread for school, others it was the excitement of work ending and, strangely, more free time to come. In more recent years, September has meant New York and has always been met with excitement. Now, September is looking like pure relief. My life will not change, as far as routine is concerned, for the first time since I was 4 years old when September hits. I think my apprehension about how I might deal with that is completely overshadowed by the longing for a cool day. And these days, "cool" means less than 90, sadly.

(I don't know if I have mentioned it on here before, but the image above is something that hangs in my room. It is several pictures I took myself, printed and hung. The entire thins was conceived by me, designed by me, and executed by me. Most of the time, it has the effect of any other poster in my room. It is just cool decor. But every once in a while I look at it and really let it sink in that it's something I created myself. I am really proud of it.)

Hard Drive

It's sad to think that at 22 I am already struggling with memory. I have really vivid memories of thing that go back a long way, but there are times when I am just in shock of how easily I forget things, things I have done, things I was supposed to do, etc. It's scary to enter a room and not remember why you were headed there, or come to realize you don't remember being apart of something you were actually there for.

Luckily, we have photos. You might not always have a camera on hand for every important moment, but for the ones you do, it's really nice. I have take a whole slew of pictures of the past four years and it's nice to be able to physically page through the years here.

old toys revisited

i get bored with things as quickly as i am excited by them. its a problem and a beautiful one. while it can be annoying to loose that spark of inspiration on an idea, project, or anything really - its also nice because it allows me the constant search and exploration of things. ive played nearly every sport one would typically play in childhood. ive tried different instruments. i have tried my hand at drawing, film making/editing, photography, music, etc. its been fruitful in the sense that in the unending search for inspiration and enjoyment i have tried many things.

last year i asked for a camera for my birthday as i have always loved photography and wanted to do it myself. since then its been used in serious efforts only a handful of times. today sparked a reemergence in photography. i broke out my camera finally decided to start understanding it. not allowing myself to use any preset settings like Portrait or Macro I put the camera on manual and manual focus and worked at, in a dimly lit room with no flash - trying to get the right shutter speed, aperature, etc to result in a decent photograph. thanks to the patience of my roommates/alex i was able to try this out on them as they played rock band (which made for long shutter exposure pictures to be a blur of color). below are some of the pictures that i kept that are decent at best but came at the hand of self discovery through adjusting settings and nothing automatic or preset.

thus:

digital exhibition

i read tonight on a blog i follow written by david horvitz a pretty interesting prompt. david uploads screen shots on the program TextEdit the Mac equivalent of Notepad every one to two days of a prompt for his readers. i typically read them for a purely 'hmm thats a cool idea' but i liked the latest one. he said - go to your grandparents house an take a picture of every photograph up in the home and email the gallery to family or friends or whomever as sort of a digital exhibition. i dont have my digital camera home but im planning on trying this with my house to see, after taking pictures of the photographs here with my phone, if the idea turns out to seem as intriguing once i have all of the images. i took a picture of just one frame in my family room tonight. its probably my favorite picture we have.