Hypocrite

Recently I played an open mic night at the coffee house down the street from my apartment. I got upset, and posted on twitter how I was not happy with a certain friend of mine who did not come to it. I was annoyed that, knowing he was doing nothing else, he still did not come to show support.

I realized tonight how much of a hypocrite that makes me. A good friend of mine and his two brothers play together in a band. They are all friends of mine, and people I played music with at one point. I have watched them go from just enjoying to play music, to creating music, to recording a cd, to growing as musicians, vocalists, performers, etc. And in all of that, I felt close to them, apart of their growth.

Tonight, I realized after talking to my friend, that despite being a part of all of this, seeing them play on campus, and at house parties, I have not been to a single show of theirs. I have been invited by them, personally, and through facebook, to over a dozen different shows of theirs. Each time one comes up I either cannot make it, or don't go. Several times I have opted not to go out of convenience or having no one to go with. I don't think that there is more than two occasions where I have an actual reason for not going.

It's really upsetting to not only have that as the truth, but to not even realize it. These are great dudes and each better musicians than I am at anything I do. I am not making excuses anymore. I can't pretend to support them and never see them play. And I can't hold anything against anyone who does not come to see me when I, so often, neglect to support them.