Wednesday, September 29, 2010

It Will Take Some Time


On September 10th my sister got married. September 9th was the last night she spent here. She may come back time to time to crash for the night as years go on, but it will be as a guest. It's natural to be slightly upset despite the overtly joyousness of this occasion. This is not a long reflection on that or on my time with her and I living under one roof. Instead is just a comment on the little things that pop up, sometimes catching me off guard.

The week following her honeymoon I was talking to her online while we were each at work. The day was ending and we both had to run and I almost told her that we could talk about it when I got home, meaning in person. It's not that we cannot talk about it in person or over the phone if we so desired. It was just a momentary lapse where I forgot that she won't be home when I get there and if we are going to talk, it'll most likely be by phone now.

Another time I called her at work to ask her a question while I was out of the office and almost ended the phone call with a casual "see you tonight," but caught myself. And today, when I got the mail there was a few pieces of junk mail addressed to her. Now, this last one probably happens every day and I imagine will continue for a while as most junk mail comes from companies that aren't keeping close track of things like a member of the household changing an address. The reason I noticed it today is that I am not typically home in time to get the mail and it is already gone through, and the junk mail thrown away, before I am home from work.

Again, this is not to say that I am more upset than I am happy, and to be honest, because we talk several times throughout the day on the computer, to some extent I have not noticed a lapse in our interaction. It's just those odd moments where I catch myself expecting her to be home when I get there, or when she isn't at some point I might think she's got a late night tonight (which happened a decent amount of time) and just hasn't gotten in yet. These few-second moments will pass in time. For now, it's still nice to sort of pretend that she is still here.


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