Sunday's Don't Have To Paralyze

I decided to override my mental thought process of "It's Sunday, its after dinner and I am staying in." I don't have Showtime and don't have the money to get it but I love and have been following Dexter for a few years now. Instead of missing the season or finding some other way to watch it I decided that 8:45 pm is not too late to leave the house on a Sunday with work tomorrow. I went over a friends and watched the new episode. I think most of us, once we get into this 9-5 routine, have the same mentality we were instilled with while growing up in grade school - you don't go out on Sunday, especially not after dinner.

I am glad I did. It was a good episode, and looks to be a interesting season. I am about through all of the premieres for this fall. There are a few I missed last week and a couple left to air. So far, this is looking to be a pretty decent fall for TV.

On The Right Track

There comes a point when routine can trap you. I find myself working out my daily routine down to the minute. If I wake up at 6:22 and am out of the shower and dressed by 6:50 I can make the 7:13 train which means I am in the city by 7:46 and can get the 4:05 train home. That puts me in the house at 5:15 which gives me four hours to do...

And that's when I realize, I am timing everything perfectly to get home and do exactly what I do all day. Sit, stare, repeat. I wake up tired in the morning, but my complete and utter inactivity all day long leaves me wide awake at night. This however contradicts my motivation. While I have too much energy to fall asleep early, I have no motivation to do anything other than get home immediately and lounge.

Another thing I wish I did more of but cannot seem to is read. I get really interested in stories and pick up books but have a hard time getting into them and finishing them. Ever since college, opening a book is like taking an Ambien. I just pass out, without realizing it, after 5 minutes of reading.

This past weekend, while in NY, I borrowed the Scott Pilgrim series from my roommate. The movie is coming out, I had hear great things before, and it is something light. I figure, I can start small. I don't have to start reading historical non-fiction. If I can get used to sitting on the train at 7 am and reading for that 40 minute ride without falling asleep, maybe I can move on to novels later. The comics are fast paced enough and engaging enough that I am able to stay alert (for the most part) the entire ride. Hopefully after I get through the entire series (takes about a day per book and theres 4 more to go after today) I can move to something a bit more dense, or even more graphic novels. Regardless, I want to use this time to read, and I am making a serious effort to train my brain to do so.

Back to the inactivity - I am not a gym person. I have been to gyms in the past. By the past I mean when I was 12 or 13 and would tag along with my dad because I liked sports then and thought it was exciting to go to the gym. It was one of those "I'm old enough to do something adults/athletes do now" mentality. I maybe went 5 times total over several months before I stopped caring.

Flash to present and I still have that 'who cares' mentality when it comes to being in shape. I don't to do anything physically to keep from gaining weight and so staying in shape for my lifestyle seems silly. That has always been my mentality. It still remains that way. However, I have recently decided that going to the gym affords me with the following - A. Something else to do at night except sit more and watch more screens and B. An energy outlet that will hopefully leave me tired enough at the end of the night so that I can get a good rest in and not be up until 12:30 or 1 am. If, after this, I am in better shape or a bit healthier then so be it. But, if it does not satisfy those first two, this gym thing might be short lived.

Side note: funny how most comic personalities on shows/in cartoons are depicted as out of shape/overweight and yet in my case they go hand in hand as far as getting on track with positive things.

(and if you are going to scoff at my reading of comics as my reading activity, feeling as though comics are not a legitimate source of literature then clearly you are ignorant to an entire genre.)

A Little Routine, A Little Warning

One of my goals when I got my job in the city was to become a regular somewhere. I like the idea of being able to walk into a restaurant, coffee shop, or bar and the people know you and know what you are there for. In high school, my friends and I were frequent customers at the Llanerch Diner. Some of us still go there to this day. But back then, despite our frequency, we were never recognized; no one knew our orders or names.

Having only been at my new job for a little over two weeks, and not establishing the routine I have right away, I have already reached my goal. There is a breakfast cart outside of the building I work in that is run by a man and woman named Alex and Maria. The cart is appropriately named "Alex and Maria's". The place is so busy in the morning. I don't know how they do for lunch but suffice it to say, I am no more than another face in the morning rush. Somehow, despite the number of customers, after just one week, they learned my order. Now, when I walk up I am greeted with a good morning and a reciting of my usual order. It happened so quickly and I love it. Downside: I am afraid to try anything else on the menu just for fear of damaging it.

I sometimes consider myself completely against routine. I hate the idea of a 9-5 career, I hate the idea of doing the same thing for a long period of time. I think there is too much to see and too much excitement to just fall into that. That being said, when I have no structure, I long for something like it. In the school year, when I had multiple days off, classes two days a week, the day care, etc - I struggled to adapt, to set aside time on a regular basis for school or other things. In that moment, I longed for a more structure life, one that would allow me the ability to get used to things. So maybe I don't know what I want, or maybe I just get bored and even change to a routine is change enough to feel fresh. What I do know, is that (for now) I love my morning routine.

Finally - my short notice warning. I am going to Mississippi for a week. When? Saturday. Yes as in 2 days from now. It is for my GO trip. One of the major pillars of GO is simple living. What that means is no technology for the entirety of the trip. So, as of Saturday, until the following Saturday, I will be offline and will be unable to update my blog. I am upset by this because other than one brief trip early on in my Breadcrumb project, I have been able to keep this thing going. Closing in on one year (only 7 weeks to go) and I have to miss 7 straight days. I am bringing my camera and hope to take a bunch of pictures which I will use as my make-up for this lapse. Please forgive me (if you are reading this) for my leave. I promise I will have tons of fun and love every second I am there. Deal?

(my daily funds for Alex and Maria. I am going to aim for exact change to perfect the routine. weird?)

So Much Routine

I often have contradicting opinions, thoughts, feelings, outlooks, etc. Most of the time when I look at something I can see why it would work or be appealing or w/e and can do the same for it's alternative or its opposite and a list of negatives comes the same way. I don't know if this is normal but I do not assume it to be.

One of those things is routine. I like to think of myself as someone who is spontaneous, someone who looks forward to adventure and would like to just 'do'. At the same time I talk about how I need stability, need a constant in order to keep up with things. It is hard to go about life without a schedule of some sort. Think about sleep - 4 hours, then 10, then 5, then 8 is not a healthy series of hours. Routines can be healthy - eating and exercising - things like that help regulate and stay healthy.

This semester was odd because I had so many days off and such spread apart classes I felt as though I never got adjusted to my schedule. It was too irregular and often felt sporatic. In contrast - I have been home for a few weeks now and have worked a total of 14 days so far. With that 14 days has come a pretty steady routine of morning alarm, shower, drive in, 9 hour day, drive home, dinner, few hours of free time, and then bed. I bring this up because it has, as I said, only been 14 days and already I feel worn and tired and trapped in this cycle. I don't do anything outside of it and its monotony has already grown exhausting. I long for inconsistency and the balance to this routine - long nights, changing sleeping patterns, and so on.

Is it strange for this back and forth to occur? Maybe it in itself reflects my favoring of inconsistency more than consistency that even in desiring consistency what I desire more is a change. Maybe I am beginning to lose you, and even myself, as I ramble on. It is bed time.

Picture today: something I find to, in itself, reflect all that is routine, that is 'the working world' and its dullness:

Working on my top trailers of 09. Need one more. Will post tomorrow night.