The end of another chapter

And perhaps a section. Today was my last day of work over winter break. I worked for 17 days this winter break, which may be the longest working break I have had. Tomorrow I head back to New York city for my final semester as an undergrad.

Today marks just one more 'last day of work' for me as I have been working breaks, both summer and winter, at a full time position since mid-high school. This last day of work might represent something a little more substantial. Unless I find myself in New Castle, Delaware over spring break this year, which is unlikely, then today represents my final day of work as a student, an intern, a work day without being in the 'real world' or the 'working world'. The next time I take a position or go to work I will be a college grad. It's scary to think about.

I had some other things I wanted to talk about today - witnessed ECTs this morning, my one and only diner trip, and more reflections on where I am in life right now. Unfortunately it is 2 am and I am getting up in 7 hours to pack the car. It has been a little while since I slept 7 hours and so I am going to retire.

Thanks for reading.

So Much Routine

I often have contradicting opinions, thoughts, feelings, outlooks, etc. Most of the time when I look at something I can see why it would work or be appealing or w/e and can do the same for it's alternative or its opposite and a list of negatives comes the same way. I don't know if this is normal but I do not assume it to be.

One of those things is routine. I like to think of myself as someone who is spontaneous, someone who looks forward to adventure and would like to just 'do'. At the same time I talk about how I need stability, need a constant in order to keep up with things. It is hard to go about life without a schedule of some sort. Think about sleep - 4 hours, then 10, then 5, then 8 is not a healthy series of hours. Routines can be healthy - eating and exercising - things like that help regulate and stay healthy.

This semester was odd because I had so many days off and such spread apart classes I felt as though I never got adjusted to my schedule. It was too irregular and often felt sporatic. In contrast - I have been home for a few weeks now and have worked a total of 14 days so far. With that 14 days has come a pretty steady routine of morning alarm, shower, drive in, 9 hour day, drive home, dinner, few hours of free time, and then bed. I bring this up because it has, as I said, only been 14 days and already I feel worn and tired and trapped in this cycle. I don't do anything outside of it and its monotony has already grown exhausting. I long for inconsistency and the balance to this routine - long nights, changing sleeping patterns, and so on.

Is it strange for this back and forth to occur? Maybe it in itself reflects my favoring of inconsistency more than consistency that even in desiring consistency what I desire more is a change. Maybe I am beginning to lose you, and even myself, as I ramble on. It is bed time.

Picture today: something I find to, in itself, reflect all that is routine, that is 'the working world' and its dullness:

Working on my top trailers of 09. Need one more. Will post tomorrow night.