A New Home

Today we packed up my sisters stuff and moved her into her new house. It was an odd dynamic because its that time of the year to be moving people back to school and considering similar sites like the uhaul and that couch, it felt like I was moving someone in to school. It hasn't settled in that in a week from now she will be married and no longer be living here. It was definitely weird to use phrases like "your house" today. Her place is awesome, though.

I remember taking many a nap on this here couch. I would say my roommate could say the same. That thing would catch you off guard. You would sit down and all of a sudden, whether you knew you were tired or not, you were out. Wrestling it up the stairs in their house was fun. This time, it was not me involved. Also, it only had to go up one, very straight flight of stairs. Not to the third floor, having to pivot every 8 steps - so I did not feel so bad for those who did move it this time.

Endings

I think, with new birth comes ends as well.

That theory or philosophy has been stated in so many ways before and I agree with it. It is, at the very least, an optimistic way to think about endings. These ends can instead be seen as mere changes in life and lifestyle.

There have been varying levels of ends recently. As far as TV goes, and for anyone who knows me - this is significant on some level - Lost and 24, as series, have ended. Lost was beautiful. As any bold ending it - it provokes questions, controversy, hatred, and love. And I think that is how the show always was - a mixture of those, sometimes all within one person. But LOST in it's ending returned to what it was from the beginning - a story about people, finding themselves, and each other, regardless of the circumstances or obstacles the world had in store for them. For the first time in a while, LOST made me feel for the characters and care about what was happening to them, and it did so for 2 and a half hours straight - something it has not done in a while. There are plenty of other sites, and blogs, and analysts out there to delve into this more.

24 has had many its rough moments. A show that came on so strong, hit a road block in its 6th season - really teetering on the edge of ruining its legacy. It took a year off to 'find' itself and came back with a 7th season that was more high powered, more action packed, and probably more farfetched than any of the previous seasons. It was an improvement on the 6th and still entertaining to watch. In season 8, the writers took a step back. They realized how absolutely bizare the show had become in its action and toned it down. Full episodes would occur, this year, without a single physical violent act. It was never a show that functioned on a high level of acting skills or dialogue, and this was apparent, but the effort was notable.

Season 8 was not the best but it was still a very good season. It had plenty of bumps, but in the end, its finale, the farwell to the series - one that literally changed television forever (and for the better) it left me, and I assume most fans, extremely satisfied. It did not need to end on an assassination or city explosions. A show that was born out of action, ended on drama and it did so successfully. The emotional tension on screen tonight and the final scenes between the leads in the show really were prime. I could not be happier with the final hours of such a phenomenon.

TV will be different. The two biggest powerhouses (reality tv doesnt count and so you won't hear me praising American Idol despite its viewership) have come to a close. The two shows that dominated conversations in regard to tv shows for most of the decade are now over. It's been wild rides for both and I don't feel at all lacking in their departure.

Another and more life significant ending came this week with the end of my college career. This post, however, is too long and I am not quite ready to reflect on that yet. Let's just say that with endings - despite the difficulty in letting go - there comes new opportunities, change, and progress. Today was my first day of work. Looking ahead, at this week alone, I am in for a real increase in pace. Summer vacation, free time, weekly days off - things of the past. But this new adventure is one I am not only ready for, but excited for. Tomorrow is day 2.

Last Paper (The Sky Is The Limit)

Last semester, at one point, my breadcrumb was a black piece of paper. The point originally was to have a picture of the first page of my last paper of the semester. Unfortunately, I had not finished the paper, and had to complete it in the morning, so I took a picture of the blank page instead.

Today, I do not have a similar picture. What I do have is a similar situation. Tonight, I finished the last paper of my undergrad college career. I realize many people have already gotten this far, some have even graduated already, but it is a triumph, nonetheless. For a short part of my Senior Year of high school I considered whether or not college was worth while. Plenty of people are able to have successful careers without a degree. It also gets you started four years earlier, and thousands of dollars gained in non-existent debt. My dad never went to college and look how our family is doing.

Here I am, four years later, on the verge of graduation and in pursuit of a Ph.D in psychology. I might have a mountain of debt, and I might have less than 200 dollars in the bank, but I do not at all wonder if I made the right decision.

Also, recently, I reached another anniversary. With April concluded, it has been five years since I last drank. No I am not a recovering alcoholic and I do not consider this 'sober' stretch a conquering of an addiction. But it is somewhat of an accomplishment. Maybe in the hardest time of one's life to not drink, I made it through four years of college, constantly surrounded by and tempted by drinking, and did not give in. I do not claim to plan to never drink again, and to be perfectly honest, I contemplate going back quite often. Something seems to always keep me from doing so, and until that changes I will remain sober. I don't view myself above or better than those that drink. I just feel as though I would prefer to avoid substances as 'social lubricants' or as a way to 'enjoy' myself. It has been hard, and people definitely do not always make the decision easy. I often wonder how life at college may have changed had I drank, but I do not regret it.

I was not sure if I was going to mention this on here, and for a week or so now I held off. Ultimately, this blog is a reflection on things, and a place for me to discuss whatever I choose. My choice to not drink in college has made a significant impact on my life and so I believe that this 'anniversary' or 'accomplishment' is something to make note of. I know one thing, it has definitely saved me a lot of money.

It's All Happening

I remember last year when a friend of mine, Ellen, was a combination of upset and bitter at her newly acquired graduation gown. It is not that it was the wrong size or anything. Instead, the message that the gown carried with it - 'it's over'.

Today, I picked up my cap and gown, my Alumni card, and filled out a senior survey. It's almost time.

(Today's picture breaks the one-thousand mark for pictures taken on my phone.)

packing: part 2 of 3

im really not gonna write about packing again other than to say my plan of putting all my clothes in bags failed when i realized too late that we have no bags - so theyr sitting in a pile on my floor.

today was the last day of work. it remains to be seen if i will be allowed to work there form my apartment. fingers crossed.

on my way to and from work fro a few years now ive passed this hill in the midst of a series of windy back roads that was mainly dirt for awhile. then over the course of the end of last summer i notice some activity and in the winter there was construction. now every day (that im alert enough to realize where i am) i look out my window at this place. its not the biggest house of seen or the most elaborate but something about this place just causes me to look up day after day.

thanks to alex for snapping the picture out the driver's side window on the ride home.

new york tomorrow!

packing: part 1 of 3

so i started pulling my shit that needs to go to school together tonight. typically for me when i get home from school in the spring my least concern is finding a sensible place for everything or keeping in mind what i use at school that i will be using at home and need to remember to pack 4 months later. So packing to return is always interesting. There are things i find that i didnt remember to bring the year previous and theres plenty of shit i will realize i forgot once i get to the bronx. (i have too much shit).

so tonight was part 1 - the most brainless of the packing - all of the 'stuff' which is classified as all non-clothes. these things are typically either close by (stuff ive used since returning home) or still in the boxes they came home in (stuff i didnt). the second part is harder to find because finding places for these boxes in may is a challenge and i have to get creative - and so its like a treasure hunt come august. part two will be packing up my clothes which in the past has been sensible and packed in suitcases - this year im thinking grabbing what i think is 'enough' and putting it in trash bags.

part 3 is the day of - tetris-style packing of the car. im driving myself up this weekend but cant fully move in until next weekend when my parents will follow with - hopefully everything else. so i have to sorta pack it all now despite most of it staying here until then. i just hope that once my car is packed there isnt more than what can fit in a small suv.
thats my living room right now. think i'll fit it all? another question is - wheres it all going?

one last time...