Hit Me

Tonight I said to someone, "Either I am totally ok with this major change in our lives or it has not hit me yet, but I don't seem at all phased by this."

Maybe eventually I will be able to process the meaning of my sister being married, no longer being home, etc. But after the past 24 hours, the only thing I can process is the desire to lay down. It was one hell of a wedding.

Full House

Tonight is our last night home together, the five of us. I'm not going to allow myself to get upset over this. Tomorrow is going to be a lot of fun. So much to remember for the mass portion. Congratulations Alicia and Leo!

A Weight Lifted

Since coming to my job I have been aware that eventually I would have to write a proposal and submit it to a national conference. That time, somehow, seemed to be far off in the distance - as most things can for me. Now, submissions are due in one week and I for the most part I am done. It is a small and brief relief. I have written my final draft. I have sent it on to my grad student editor who will then send it on to my boss. After that only a few (hopefully) edits will need to be adjusted before submitting next Wednesday. As of now, the paper is written, the results have been calculated, data run, and discussion laid out.

It is not a complete relief because I still have to actually submit the paper. Additionally, once (if) it get's accepted I will then have to create the actual presentation or poster for the paper, laying everything out in incredible detail. So, while the idea, the findings, the first steps are all major progresses, there is much still a head of me. Even still, it is nice to have the first leg of this project behind me.

Tomorrow I am meeting my sister for lunch as she will be in the city to get her ring cleaned. Then tomorrow night my dad and I are going for last measurements/adjustments for our tuxes.

The First Reminder

There have been hundreds of times, more so in recent years, where it has just been a few of us at home for a given night. We are definitely the family who averaged, when we grew up, 5-6 dinners together in a week. Sure each of us had a span where we were involved in things that kept us out a night or two during the week. As the years have continued and we have each become more independent, have our own schedules, and jobs - dinners at home are more infrequent. Sunday nights are spent figuring out which day or two we might all be home.

To be eating home tonight with just my parents was not completely out of the ordinary. Yet, with the wedding on the horizon, tonight's meal was a clear reminder of how every day life is about to be. Dinner just felt empty. There have been plenty of nights where I have eaten alone for dinner, or just with one other person, and yet tonight felt different. Tonight, the feeling of finality started to set in. On all of those other nights, there was nothing permanent about the decline in attendance to dinner. It sometimes was fun, a change of pace that meant we might have breakfast for dinner or try something different. Instead, there was a clear void present at dinner tonight and it was there for everyone. Even before and after dinner, the house just felt quieter. I keep telling people that to some extent it won't be much different because of how infrequently we are all home already. Maybe tonight I realized that, at least a little bit, I might be fooling myself.

(this is a picture from my sister's new house. I went over with her today to help her arrange some more things, set some more stuff up, and clean up from the big move this past Saturday. Her place is pretty great. I hope I make good on my promise to myself that I will visit them and not be lazy about that.)

Tuxes By Generation

Today, my grandpop, my dad, and myself all went to have our tuxes fitted for my sister's wedding in the fall. I always enjoy when the three of us go somewhere. I don't know why, but the idea of seeing, at once, the progression, the three generations all standing in a row - it's interesting to me.

Also, my grandpop is great. He was wearing a golf shirt and that was causing issue with trying out the dress shirt. They suggest he go change in the dressing room so that he is not trying to button a dress shirt over a polo. He liked that because he thought it was too public to change where he was. He walks over to the dressing room, and proceeds to take off his shirt. With the door still open. For the whole store to watch. So much for privacy.