I've been lost a lot recently. That is definitely something I can admit. There were plenty of opportunities that have been available to me in my four years here that I did not take advantage of. I recently looked at a document on my computer that I had made during my Sophomore year. It was of a series of places and contacts to look into volunteer work for my major. The places were early learning centers and children psych wards. At the time, I just wanted to enjoy myself. I don't necessarily regret my decision to have time for myself through most of my college years, but I started to debate that in the past six months.
There was a lot stacked against me getting a job. I do believe I have done a fair amount in my time here. I have been a part of 3 separate research studies as well as volunteer(ed) for a full school year at a preschool. I even briefly worked for the school radio station. But in my conversation with friends it seemed like everyone had one thing that I envied, whether it was a connection, a summer internship at a mental health facility, or something else. I just felt unsure of my accomplishments. With the plan of utilizing my handed-to-me summer internship as my buffer period before needing to find actual work, I did very little to pursue a job, a career, any real next step.
Back in December, based on a recommendation by my Personality teacher, who I emailed looking for some advice on what I should get involved with in my last semester, I pursued a research assistant position (volunteer, but still) working with a professor I had had for two different classes and really enjoyed. In our conversation, the purpose of him taking me on was so he had a reference point at which he could use to reccomend me to a friend of his who worked at Drexel University. She works in the research department for Psychology there and usually takes on people, at least on a volunteer basis, to help with her studies. They would be meeting in March and so he would talk me up (based on my then two months of working with him).
Well March came, they met, and he informed me he had told her he'd send an email with me copied so the two of us could get connected. March ended, and April was passing quickly and he hadn't done anything. I asked him here or there about it, but was generally not very persistant. This may have been because I did not want to be a pest, or because I had a job for the summer and was not pressured to find something. Either way, it took me awhile to really step up.
Finally, last Tuesday, after a conversation with my sister, I decided I needed to say something to him. Graduation was approaching, and even though I did not need a job right away, I wanted to get communications started before I left my position with him. About one hour after I emailed him I received that CC'd email written to her. He explained who I was, what I was looking for, what I could be counted on for, and basically just asked if there was anything available for her and I to talk about. An hour after that I received an email from her. She told me that she was looking to fill a position that would be opening up June 1st and she was starting the interviews for the position the next day, could I talk on the phone in the next 24 hours about the position?
Absolutely, I could. Fordham just happened to arrange it so that I have Wednesdays off and was absolutely free. The next morning, at 10 am, she called. We talked for about 80 minutes and things went well. I guess they went pretty darn well because she asked me if, despite being in NY and finals were on the horizon, I could make my way to Philadelphia to meet in person. I said yes to a 10 am meeting before I knew what I was doing. Thursday night I would be putting on a concert fund raiser and would not be home until after 12 am. I needed to be on a 5:25 am metro north train into the city to get home in time. It hurt. But I managed.
The two days between phone call and interview were torture. Every time I thought about the interview my heart raced. This position, as it was explained, would put me in a position where I'd be accepted at any Grad program I applied to because of the experience I would gain from it. It would leave me published several times over, chances to speak at conferences, manage a team of 20 people, among other things. I couldn't even believe I qualified for an interview.
The interview went well, conversationally, but certain things were said that made me realize - no chance. She told me she never had anyone as young as I was hold this position. Typically the person holding it had a Masters and some managerial or other experience. In addition she was not thrilled about my GO! trip and made it seem as though it was one or the other. Needless to say I left the interview feeling extremely mixed. I then headed to the shore for some much needed R and R. Sunday night I heard from Naomi via email. She told me she was happy to have met with me in person and was hoping to make a decision by Wednesday.
Remember how I was talking about how my heart would race when I thought about the interview in the two days leading up to it. The two days after were worse. I more and more realized the position was unlikely, and simultaneously, all the good that would come from it. I essentially decided that the course of my future hinged on this job. Every opportunity I would be afforded with this job in my future would be enhanced and different because of it. I longed for that future.
9 am. Monday, May 10, 2010
My phone rang. Luckily I sleep like a newborn (which actually means I wake up easily - that whole 'sleep like a baby' thing is backwards) and woke up immediatly. As anyone would be, I was disoriented as hell and saw a series of numbers. It was not a number I had in my phone. I thought to myself - who cares, I want to sleep. Then I realized - its Naomi! The next thought that ran through my head was 'what a terrible way to wake up' - I was automatically prepped for bad news. Before I could let anymore time pass (and likely let the call go to voicemail) I answered the phone, clearly disoriented. Naomi, who must has sensed something was off - quickly said "Dan it's Naomi. Before you worry, it's good news.
I think, had my phone not been plugged in, or had I not just woken up, I may have started dancing right then. She proceeded to inform me that she wanted to officially make me an offer for the position. Since the time I left on Friday she kept telling the staff she wanted to just make me the offer then. No matter who else interviewed, who else was more qualified, or had a higher degree - she kept saying she wanted to give me the job. Someone, someone that I must hug someday, told her that it means that that must mean that I am who she should hire then.
I very quickly understood why Alex told me he had a headache from smiling too much. I actually, throughout the day, kept looking for signs of proof that it had not been a dream. I mean I did take the call in bed, I had been sleeping before it. It was just too go to have been reality. It was such a long shot in every way. And yet, it was real.
So talk about a 180. One week ago, today, I was emailing my professor in hopes to get the ball rolling. One week ago, today, I was debating Americorp, or what other option I had. One week ago today, I was futureless. I was legitimately nervous about what would come next, dreaded every conversation I would have with anyone I would talk to in the next few months of 'so what are you going to do now?' I had many an anxiety ridden conversation over coffee in the past few months about the state of things and the likelihood that I would be without employment come the fall and how I needed to focus my energy elsewhere.
One week ago today I sent an email, based on the suggestion of my sister, to a man who I only ever sat down with due to the suggestion of my teacher from a few years ago. One week later I have job in my career, in my home town, across the street from Love Park, doing something I am excited about. I am excited. I am nervous. I am anxious. But most of all, I am hopeful and looking forward to life after graduation.
Things work out. Who knew. Had I waited a day to email him, had I not taken Tracy's advice in November to seek out a research assistant position, had classes ended a day later and I couldn't get home for an interview - so many small things that all could have prevented this from happening. And yet, none of them did. I don't know what that means, if it means anything at all. What I do know is I have an answer for those people now, and an answer for myself - the future? Yeah I got that covered.
(At some point tonight, amidst the frustrations of not wanting to study, my roommate grabbed a stuffed bear in his room and danced with it.)
